Stan

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering

why I got out of bed at all

The morning rain clouds up my window

and I can't see at all

And even if I could it'd all be gray,

but your picture on my wall

It reminds me, that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering

why I got out of bed at all

The morning rain clouds up my window

and I can't see at all

And even if I could it'd all be gray,

but your picture on my wall

It reminds me, that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

Dear Slim, I wrote you but you still ain't calling

I left my cell, my pager,

and my home phone at the bottom

I sent two letters back in autumn,

There probably was a problem

at the post office or something

Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy

But anyways fuck it, what's been up?

Man, how's your daughter?

My girlfriend's pregnant, too,

I'm bout to be a father

If I have a daughter, guess what I'mma call her?

I'mma name her Bonnie

I read about your Uncle Ronnie, too, I'm sorry

I had a friend kill himself over some bitch

who didn't want him

I know you probably hear this every day,

but I'm your biggest fan

I even got the underground shit that you did with Skam

I got a room full of your posters

and your pictures, man

I like the shit you did with Rawkus, too,

that shit was phat

Anyways, I hope you get this, man, hit me back

Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan

This is Stan

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering

why I got out of bed at all

The morning rain clouds up my window

and I can't see at all

And even if I could it'd all be gray,

but your picture on my wall

It reminds me, that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote,

I ain't mad - I just think it's fucked up

you don't answer fans

If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your concert

You didn't have to,

but you could've signed an autograph for Matthew

That's my little brother man, he's only six years old

We waited in the blistering cold for you

For four hours and you just said, "No"

That's pretty shitty man

you're like his fucking idol

He wants to be just like you man,

he likes you more than I do

I ain't that mad though,

I just don't like being lied to

Remember when we met in Denver

you said if I'd write you

You would write back - see I'm just like you in a way

I never knew my father neither

He used to always cheat on my mom and beat her

I can relate to what you're saying in your songs

So when I have a shitty day,

I drift away and put 'em on

'Cause I don't really got shit else so that

shit helps when I'm depressed

I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest

Sometimes I even cut myself to see

It's like adrenaline,

the pain is such a sudden rush for me

See everything you say is real,

and I respect you 'cause you tell it

My girlfriend's jealous 'cause I talk about you 24/7

But she don't know you

like I know you Slim, no one does

She don't know what it was

like for people like us growing up

You gotta call me man,

I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose

Sincerely yours, Stan

P.S. we should be together, too

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering

why I got out of bed at all

The morning rain clouds up my window

and I can't see at all

And even if I could it'd all be gray,

but your picture on my wall

It reminds me, that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

Dear Mister I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans,

This'll be the last package I ever send your ass

It's been six months and still no word

I don't deserve it?

I know you got my last two letters

I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect

So this is my cassette I'm sending you,

I'm in the car right now,

I'm doing 90 on the freeway

Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka,

you dare me to drive?

You know the song by Phil Collins "In the Air Tonight"

About that guy who could've saved

But didn't, then Phil saw it all,

then at a show he found him?

That's kinda how this is,

you could've rescued me from drowning

Now it's too late

I'm on a thousand downers now, I'm drowsy

And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call

I hope you know I ripped all

of your pictures off the wall

I loved you, Slim, we could've been together,

think about it

I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it

And when you dream I hope you can't sleep

and you scream about it

I hope your conscience eats at you

and you can't breathe without me

See, Slim,—shut up bitch! I'm trying to talk!

Hey, Slim, that's my girlfriend screaming in the trunk,

But I didn't slit her throat,

I just tied her up See, I ain't like you

'Cause if she suffocates she'll suffer more,

and then she'll die, too

Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now

Oh shit, I forgot,

how am I supposed to send this shit out?

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering

why I got out of bed at all

The morning rain clouds up my window

and I can't see at all

And even if I could it'd all be gray,

but your picture on my wall

It reminds me, that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner

You said your girlfriend's pregnant now,

how far along is she?

Look, I'm really flattered you would call

And here's an autograph for your brother

I wrote it on the Starter cap

I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show,

I must've missed you

Don't think I did that shit intentionally

just to diss you

But what's this shit you said about you

like to cut your wrists, too?

I say that shit's just clowning , dawg

C'mon! How fucked up is you?

I think you need some counseling

To help your ass from bouncing off the walls

when you get down some

And what's this shit about us meant to be together?

That type of shit'll make me not want us

to meet each other

I really think you and your girlfriend need each other

Or maybe you just need to treat her better

I hope you get to read this letter,

I just hope it reaches you in time

Before you hurt yourself,

I think that you'll be doing just fine

If you relax a little,

I'm glad I inspire you but, Stan

Why are you so mad? Try to understand,

that I do want you as a fan

I just don't want you to do some crazy shit

I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago

that made me sick

Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge

And had his girlfriend in the trunk,

and she was pregnant with his kid

And in the car they found a tape,

but they didn't say who it was to

Come to think about it, his name was... it was you

Damn!